True Life

Love Is

What is it about love that keeps me longing, dreading, and desiring it. It's almost like an addictive drug, once you have tried it you can't kick the habit. I know what it is that makes me feel this way about love. It's the uncertainty. I never know what I'm going to get when I'm in love. A broken heart, a best friend, a lover or a lifetime partner. The uncertainty is the best and the worst part. The uncertainty keeps me wanting more and wanting less. It keeps me sane and drives me crazy. I'm in love with love because it makes my adrenaline rush. It's the perfect high and the best why to make someone feel low.

Like anyone I desire to be loved and I think I have so much love to give but the uncertainty worries me. With that said I keep finding myself at a crossroad with love. I get to the point where I can chose to love someone or leave them and act like I don't care about them before my feelings get involved. When in reality I did care and I wanted more than just the physical. Once it's too late I some times find myself wondering about what could have been had I taken the chance, let my wall down, and trusted. Am I too attached to past hurts? Will I ever feel real love again or will I be stuck in the stage of infatuation. Relationships based solely on physical things that have no role in real love.

Now I have not felt that way about anyone in a long time. Most of the situations I find myself involved in are based on things of no substance; childish things. But I can't seem to shake all the things I know will only lead me to relationships of no substance. Relationships based solely on sex and physical characteristics. Things that only take the situation so far before they become boring and dry. When the sex is over and he can't hold an intelligent conversation; then what? When him being cute is okay until he opens his mouth; then what? Things of no substance!

So love is...UNCERTAINTY! But you still need SUBSTANCE.

posted by no_more_drama @ 1:29 AM