True Life

Love & Hate

I can't seem to erase E out of my life. I'm not sure what it is. That's not true I know what it is but I'm not ready to talk about that just yet.

He seems to believe that we have a love-hate relationship. We yell at each other, tell each other how much the other gets on our last nerve and remind the other of their flaws on a regular bases. Sometimes I need that because it helps to keep me grounded. Sometimes I think "wow, he doesn't take my sh*t like the other men I have dealt with" and I think it's great. But other times some of what he has to say is hurtful and disrespectful. Now I don't want to make myself sound like the victim because for all who know me know I am far from an angel when it comes to arguing. I say mean and hurtful stuff that would hurt any mans pride if he's not strong enough to take it. So maybe we do have a love-hate relationship or maybe we just need to leave each other alone because we are too much alike.

I know that I don't love E because I don't know him well enough to say that. Sometimes I don't even think I care much about him. But there is something about him that keeps me going back and it can't be his charming personality because he's an asshole, much like myself. And I can admit I am an asshole when it come to dealing with men. I don't love him, sometimes I care, and other times I hate his ass; that's the only sure thing. Sometimes I am willing to fly around the world to be with him, other times I wish his plane would drop out the sky on his way back to the states, and still I keep going back to him. Maybe he's right. Maybe we do have a Love-Hate relationship. Maybe we are meant to be together because we keep each other grounded. Maybe we aren't meant to be together but he was placed in my life to teach me a lesson about relationships. We might end up killing each other but at least we know that making up will be great, hahaha. The UNCERTAINTY keeps me going back, it keeps my adrenaline pumping, and it keeps me grounded.

posted by no_more_drama @ 7:07 PM